I'M OKAY

By; Mueni Abigail

20th September 2023.

'I can't be vulnerable, it shows weakness, and neither do I have the time for that.' I've been

telling myself this over the years, lame excuse if you ask me to avoid dealing with all the feelings I have pent up.

I'm so tired of hearing this big fatty fat lie, So sick and tired of reading self-help books and listening to motivational speakers and living the whole positive vibes all day every day façade. Will I stop? No, most definitely not because I need them, but am I tired of feeling exhausted all day? yes., Yes, I am. Let's be real for a minute here, as much as we would like to be okay 100% we're humans, and we will never be okay C'mon it's a shitty world we live in with shitty people and shitty lives, Do I dislike it, Yes I Do, but it might be a good thing because if life were so perfect it would be boring, yeah this is just a self consolation thing moving ooooooon..... Darling stop trying to run away from the storm and embrace it, am I sure about this? Don't know and I Don't really care I read it somewhere of course it's not called The School of Life for Fun buddy, Readers are Leaders intakes are ongoing all day every day, yeah yeah don't laugh it's not my problem you have no funny bone Sir; Ma'am.

I'm discovering that it's okay to show vulnerability sometimes; that's all it takes. I often hear the comment "You are so strong" and started to believe it. Apparently, it's just a mindset. But is the issue resolved by hearing these simple words? No, it's just buried deep down, waiting for the perfect trigger to resurface even stronger. Then, you'll push it back down repeatedly, creating a cycle of emotions all simmering, waiting for the right moment to explode. It's like having your own little ticking bomb. Congratulations, darling, for once you have some chemistry happening, hah.....

How are you today?

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  I'm okay, no for real.
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  Myeeeh but I'll Survive.
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  I wanna talk.
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  I just wanna die.

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